I used to heartily dislike modern medicine. And I don’t mean great techno innovations that have come out in the last century…you won’t find me advocating leeches and potions. But still, you see these things on TV all the time. Yelena even ordered one of those special hula hoops off the TV- those ones that have colourful lights, and they flash brighter depending on how many hoops you’ve done. Where is it now? In the garage, gathering dust. I told her it was a fad, and it was also an eyesore.

Some things aren’t so bad, though. After I’ve had a go in one of those portable hyperbaric chambers, I feel like I could run for miles and miles, just like I did back in the rugby days! I thought they were well-behind me when I had to quit playing in the mature league a few years ago. Just couldn’t keep up with my teammates, kept running out of breath and then there was the whole ankle incident. But there oxygen chambers…well, one of their main draws is that they’re fully portable. I’ve definitely seen a few that can be carted around the place. So all I’d have to do? Just bring one to a rugby match, fuel up on oxygen and dash onto the field feeling like a sixteen-year-old again!

In theory, anyway. Yelena won’t let me do anything of the sort, since she had to do all the gardening while my ankle was busted and I think she still has painful flashbacks every time she goes out there. She’s a creature of the indoors, my Yelena. Not to mention more oxygen probably isn’t going to help my ankle all that much. I suppose I could take up a sport that isn’t so taxing on the legs. They have a few table-tennis leagues around Melbourne, hyperbaric medicine is getting more and more popular. I wonder, would Yelena let me?