I honestly can’t BELIEVE some of the people who used to be part of this mum’s group. This play centre used to be our sanctum as well. We’d meet up here every week, have a grand old time, drink some coffee and barely keep an eye on the kids because they’re pretty much okay by themselves. Oh, we’d always assign someone as a lookout, of course.

Now…we’re reduced to half. Well, good riddance to the lot of them. They made the crucial mistake of mistaking the true genius of The Penultimate Space Wizard. Those who are left are the true believers, the ones who see the wonderful direction of the franchise and know, in their hearts, that they are right.

You know, you could make an entire play centre featured around Space Conflicts. I’ve been to a lot of indoor play centres, located in Melbourne and many other places, and they all seem to be centered around a basic theme. Colour, animals, mascots and…things of that nature, I suppose. All very nice, but nondescript. Perhaps that’s for several reasons. For one thing, you want to keep the appeal as broad as possible. Lots of children like animals. In fact, I’ve never heard of a child who DOESN’T like at least one animal, even if it’s a strange one. And then if you went around creating birthday party venues with definite themes, you might be set upon by squadrons of lawyers who are narked that you’re stealing intellectual property.

Still, even with nothing specific, our kids are still following our legacy and pretending to be characters in Star Conflicts. They weave in and out of the climbing frames and tunnels, playing out scenes from the marvellous series that is totally perfect in every way.

I certainly hope that, in birthday party venues inside Melbourne and beyond, kids are doing the same thing. Except in that one specific play centre where tour splinter group has set up shop, to preach their awful ways. What a sad place indeed.