My next-door neighbour knows all about windows. The company his son works for does window tinting for commercial buildings in Melbourne, and as a result my windows are subject to his scrutiny at regular intervals. He’s forever reminding me of the fact that I’m exposing my kids to harmful UV rays via my untinted windows. I’m not even sure how he knows whether my windows are tinted or not, given that (by his own admission) it’s available in a range of colours, from transparent through to dark.

I realise I’m coming across as a tad tetchy about this. It’s just that he goes on and on about how I could optimise the value of my house by cleaning the drains more often, or make my veggies grow better by not mulching. Well, that may be all well and good for him, but we don’t all have the time to be pulling out weeds every day!

I’ve actually met the son, Casey, and he apologised for his dad’s endless advertising of the cause. Apparently, he got a bit excited when Casey installed tinting on his house for him. This was primarily because he’d thought that’d he have to live out the rest of his days with the sun blazing in at precisely the wrong angle for viewing his morning Dutch news program on the telly. (Of course, he couldn’t just move the TV cabinet.) Now he’s a total advocate of the stuff.

I did have to laugh when I heard that. I suppose we could do with a bit less glare in our study and in the kids’ playroom, which gets a bit too much sun. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to recruit a home tinting service. In Melbourne, there are a few companies to choose from. I’d never hear the end of it if I hired one other than Casey’s, but I might do just that if I can find a company that makes a tint that can block out the sound of my neighbour’s voice.