Back when I was a lad, we never had people finding houses for us. In fact, we never moved house at all unless the whole place was falling down around us, and sometimes not even then. ¬†We’d just patch up the roof with the help of the entire neighbourhood, and that would be that. Moving home is a new trend, something invented by the younger generation because they needed something to do. I suppose it’s a decent enough hobby, all things considered…we used to make propaganda posters and bet on when the world was coming to an end. It was a lot of fun, but then you always went to bed with a pit in their stomach.

I suppose home buying is fine; keeps you occupied for long enough, certainly. I can just about tolerate there being buyers advocates in Melbourne, as well. According to the Sqizzer’s Digestive magazine, this is a new-fangled thing where people go around, pounding the pavement and finding high-end property for people in need. And by ‘in need’, I mean people who work too hard, probably. No time to get on the old speaky box and search for homes themselves. At least we haven’t quite got to the point where people will buy a home without actually looking at it…or sending someone to look at it for them. Even then, I think the idea is that you give a list of demands, and then your home advocate person goes and finds you your dream home. How nice, for some! Just another one of those jobs that people can do now, since the economy isn’t completely destroyed by war and there’s more on the menu than just a lot of spam on toast. Sometimes we didn’t even have the toast. It was just the spam.

Anyway, Melbourne property advocates can stay, for now. I think I’ll allow it.